Sometimes we have to 'conquer' ourselves: My journey of breaking mindsets

We may use the same way of thinking, and of solving problems for a long time without doubting whether it’s the proper one. From time to time, “mistakes” occur but we blame them to “carefulness”. We may be tempted to think that what we have been using for problem solving is the best in this universe. I regret to tell you you’re wrong. You’ve been deceived by the surface of the situation. You may have “settled” problems, but actually you haven’t. And this is responsible for future mistakes. What I am referring to is the “mindset”, a set of attitudes or fixed ideas that sb has and that are often difficult to change.

It was not until last month that I finally realized the problems with mindsets. I had been using the same “correct” way of learning for almost 2 years. Never was I ever dubious whether it was right. I took it for granted that this habit was “the ultimate solution to learning”. Actually, I almost learnt everything by rote, ignored the really critical facets of what I learnt, and even “neglected” the consequence of striking a balance between work and rest. I kept on doing it, and I was convinced that I was always right. I learnt with a thin disguise that I was doing the right thing: I made “smart” and “flexible” arrangements.

Yet I should deny the advantages of this set of learning methods. In some way, I got really close to the real good methods. Nevertheless, the bad things had far greater impacts on my life. I pushed myself too hard and never “permitted” myself to take a rest. I was obsessed with knowledge and kept doing revision all the time. I became listless over time and suffered from mental disease. Then I came aware that I was wrong. But this was already my mindset. Contradictory ideas filled my mind. “I was not able to change it. I was not able to change it. I was not able to change it.”, the voice whispered in my mind. I was then intimidated to change.

In the end, I turned to my friends for rescue. I searched for the way out on the Internet.